Two weeks ago, I wrote about Week 6 of Julia Cameron’s Artist’s Way course to build creativity. If you purchased the book and are following along, I hope this past week was fruitful. To the rest of you, I invite you to join in and comment how the course is helping (or hindering) you in your lives!
If you’re playing the home game regarding the Artist’s Way series I am writing, you noticed two things. The first is that I didn’t publish an Artist’s Way article last week. The second is that I changed the way I titled this article.
I’ll start with the title. I’ve been using boring ones. I wanted to shake things up and give the material a better chance at being read by sounding as interesting as the process really is. Enough said.
Not writing an Artist’s Way article last week grew from a simple cause, but had a complicated outcome: last week was terrible. At first, I beat myself up for not feeling in a mood to write an article. Then I wrote three articles in the next five days, partly beating myself up for other reasons. I guess I snapped out of it?
Further to the point, however, the Week 7 chapter fits pretty dang well with what was happening in my life last week, and I decided I would get those thoughts out of my head before I tackled new material.
Week 6 centered on loving ourselves - in particular, giving ourselves the permission to acquire objects that suit our sense of luxury. By treating ourselves right, we foster a sense of abundance in our lives that spills over into our sense of self-worth.
So…last week, I failed pretty badly at valuing myself. I tried to do something about my inability to feel valuable through my articles. But it is difficult to feel connected to everything as we cut ourselves off from the rest of the Universe.
Week 7 builds on Week 6 by encouraging us to allow the Universe to flow through us, cultivating our connection to everything.
Week 6 recap
The past two weeks of Artist’s Way tools have gone well. Morning Pages helped me process some of my difficulties. In fact, the articles I wrote last week regarding my sense of self-value came in part from Morning Pages.
There were two instances, however, when I only wrote two pages, not three. Not gonna lie (as the kids say), I had issues with stopping, but not finishing. Clearly, I pulled through, but I admit I didn’t complete my Morning Pages as I would have hoped.
Twice I went on my Artist Date. The first went smashingly. The second - last week - was difficult. The week had been rough on me and I really didn’t want to go and celebrate myself with a date. I pushed myself to go. It was all right - only all right.
Our sense of connection
The meat of Week 7 deals with connection - how we let the Universe flow through us to touch other people. A sense of connection is tightly linked to a sense of abundance. The more we are connected to the Universe, the more it may flow, and the more we are able to create and bring ourselves abundance in self-worth.
Cameron views this cycle as long-term synchronicity. (And the long-term effect is not just 17 nonconsecutive weeks at #1 on the Billboard charts for the album by The Police). Synchronicity can be described as the Universe trying to help you out.
There is a paragraph in Week 7 that captures precisely how Cameron explains synchronicity…and what I was struggling to believe last week when I had the meltdown:
Learn to accept the possibility that the Universe is helping you with what you are doing… Expect the Universe to support your dream. It will.
I personally have written similar words. And yet I struggle with this concept frequently, in part because of a mean perfectionist streak.
Our sense of imperfect
I tend to view my perfectionism as driving myself toward a better…well, everything. A better person, a better marriage, a better writing career, a better…well, everything.
But Cameron states bluntly perfectionism is not humility. Perfectionism is not trying to make things right.
Perfectionism is egotism, flat out. It is the pursuit of all that is terrible in us at the expense of anything great. It may sound odd to call seeking the terrible in ourselves “egotism,” but the word means to have an inflated view of one’s own importance. What is so important about every small creative act we do?
Cameron - with her emphasis on creating regularly - believes no one creative act is all-important. It is the creative process, a creative life, that we must seek to build.
This accusation sounds very familiar to me, if nothing else. Of course I look for what is terrible within myself and the work I do - otherwise, I might begin to enjoy it, value it, maybe value myself.
But we gain nothing by tearing ourselves up and rejecting our own work. Perfectionism is a staunch refusal to allow ourselves to move forward in creating beauty. It is a staunch refusal to accept not only our abilities, but the Universe’s help in creating beauty.
Our sense of jealousy
The other side of perfectionism is jealousy. Living life - at any level of creativity - demands accepting risk. We may fail. We may fail badly.
As a result, perfectionism helps us find creative acts with lower risk. If we choose to make public any creative act, it will be one we know we can succeed at doing.
I surprise myself consistently when I publish an article. I put a piece of myself out there for the world to see, which is absolutely not characteristic of the person I was a year ago. But gender transition has brought with it many changes. One of them is ability to take greater risks.
But my growth does not mean I am willing to face all risks. And that - writes Cameron - is where jealousy enters the picture.
Jealousy is nothing more than a mask - we cloak the fear of taking a risk, then aim it at another who took the risk.
Note that I did not say the object of our jealousy did not feel the fear. Most likely, the person who accepted the risk felt fear just as we do. The difference is the object of our jealousy got the job done when we did not.
There is one certain cure for fear of risk. We lose it by facing the fear, feeling it, and doing it, anyway.
So what's next?
I have plenty of work to do just in accepting I am truly a part of the Universe and worthy of its assistance. Gender transition is helping here, but I will remember my worth does not derive from perfect creations. It derives from my building a creative life - a life in which I create who I am.
It goes without saying Morning Pages and an Artist Date are on the docket. But this week, I will consider my life as a whole, to find value within myself and grow my connection to everything.
This week, I will call out and hear the Universe.
Until next week!