My good friend Morgan responded to a photograph I posted to social media recently. She called me beautiful, and I had to stifle the desire to correct her. Instead, I thanked Morgan and told her I could use compliments like hers due to my lack of self-confidence.
Then Morgan corrected me. I must have self-confidence, she claimed - all I had to do was observe my life to see it. I write about my transgender journey - even the difficult parts. I wear the clothes that feel right to me - even before I felt comfortable wearing them. I post photographs of myself to social media - even when I don't believe I am beautiful. All of the above takes self-confidence.
I shrugged Morgan's admonition off. My self-confidence is only an act, I scoffed. I force myself to do what she observes. I don't choose to. My transgender life is aversion therapy, nothing more.
But Morgan made a fascinating observation. She asked me to consider how much confidence it must take to be who I am and to do what I do. Self-confidence comes not from being fearless, but in overcoming the limitations fear puts on us. We don't feel self-confident in order to act. We act and display self-confidence.
That stopped me. I told her I would process her observation. This article is the result.
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